Every Certainty I Had Part 5/?

[daughterofelros.livejournal.com]

Title: Every Certainty I Had
Author: daughterofelros  
Pairing: Connor Paolo/ Joshua Jackson; Also includes to varying degrees the Following Cast: Summer Glau, Thomas Dekker, Rob Lowe, Penn Badgley, Blake Lively, and Dominic Monaghan, plus various and sundry others
Rating: Very Innocent progressing in later chapters to smuttiness
Disclaimer: It's not real. If you think it is, Good God, you're crazier than I am!! 
Summary: Connor has been purchased, but isn't sure what to make of his new life and master.
AN: The title comes from Aida, specifically the line " But time enough to lay to waste/
Every certainty I Had"

Previous Parts:   Part 1     Part 2       Part 3     Part 4
Who' s Who located here

Dinner finished, and sensing the younger man’s exhaustion, Thomas suggested he head upstairs to sleep, assuring him repeatedly that Josh wouldn’t mind. He carried their plates into the kitchen, rinsing them under the tap along with the plates Josh and Rob had left in the sink, because old habits died hard. He straightened the pizza boxes on the counter and flipped the overhead lights off, leaving he room dimly lit by the light over the sink. Tidying done, he abandoned the kitchen, heading into the other hallway and Josh’s study, where he figured the other men had disappeared to. His suspicions were confirmed by the quiet murmur of their voices. As he stepped into the doorway, Josh looked over at him.

“So what do you think?”

Thomas shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the doorjamb.

“I think you’re a little bit crazy.”

“You must have realized that already.” Josh teased. Thomas arched an eyebrow at him.

“I knew you were eccentric, but I never realized you were insane. Buying a slave is more than just bringing home a puppy, Josh. I know you know it, more than almost any member of your class does, so I’m not going to sit here and recite the ‘slaves are people too’ mantra- But for all your understanding, I’m not sure you understand the reality of that.” He came into the room, perching on the edge of an armchair seat. “The big ideas are great, Josh, but…there are a lot of things you haven’t seemed to have considered. The little things, like The kid needs clothes, something to sleep in. A Toothbrush. You have to provide that as much as you want to provide a better world, or you’re not really helping him.”

Josh looked befuddled.

“Shit. I didn’t think…” He hung his head. “I can’t do this.”

“It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”

Josh looked up at him.

“Not you too, with the logic. Rob is quite annoying enough on his own, he needs no encouragement.” Thomas chuckled, earning a mock glare.

“What did you think of Connor?” Rob put in, steering them back to topic.

“He’s a good kid. Scared, of course, and damaged. You said he’d been in training six weeks? It doesn’t seem like a long time, but Commerce is effective, if not necessarily subtle. I’ve heard of people broken in less than three weeks from tidbits floating around the slave’s communications network. Word on the street is that that particular training facility can be especially heavy-handed in their methods of…enforcing their doctrine. But given time I think he’ll be alright, if you work with him, communicate with him.”

“Oh good. My strong point.”

Rob made a move to speak, pausing and weighing his words.

“Josh… you have to consider that on top of this, there’s something else that will make things more difficult.” His tone was grave. “Suddenly purchasing a body slave after years of living without one will draw some attention. People will want to see him, and see him perform. You have to be careful of how you treat him publicly. If you’re seen as soft, too kind, it will bring public scrutiny will fall on all of us again. That…could be dangerous. Commerce is very interested in not having owners appear too much as though they remember that slaves are people- they don’t want the general public getting too concerned with the system. Too much attention from Commerce could lead to an investigation. Some of my legal practices involving the slave trade are only marginally on this side of the law. When viewed from an unfavorable perspecive… that margin might not be enough. Summer’s eccentricities would be called into question as well, and while the most they could probably do would be to drag her through the gossip and rumor mill a number of times, it would be messy. And you can’t afford to have them go digging around in your past. None of us would be able to come through a Commerce inspection unscathed. So it’s going to have to appear like you’re fully committed to owning a slave, and treating him like a slave. Josh, there are going to be times when you have to get off your high horse and behave like the people you say you despise. You’re far too prominent in the business world for someone not to be willing to exploit any weakness they see and use it to bring you down.”

“You’re right, of course. But discussions can wait until tomorrow. It’ll be a few weeks before I have to present Connor publicly, or to my business associates. We’ll use that time wisely. Speaking of which, Thomas, I have a favor to ask you.”

“What’s that?”

“You brought up the fact of Connor needing clothes and all that. Would you mind helping him out in that regard? Take him shopping to get whatever he might need?”

“Not a problem. Tomorrow morning alright?”

“Perfect, thank you.”

“Alright then.” He stood. “I should probably be getting home. Summer will probably be there already.”

“I should be going too.” Rob stood as well. They said their farewells, leaving Josh alone with his thoughts and a body slave asleep on the floor above.

 

: : :

 

The morning dawned as one of those cold early winter mornings where the overcast sky let through no direct sunlight, but instead dispersed the light into a general brightness. Thomas stood on the front stoop as promised, stamping his feet to keep warm until Josh answered the door.

“Cold enough for you?”

“And then some.” He ducked gratefully into the warmth of the house.

“You want some coffee?”

“Who could refuse the sweet Nectar of the Gods?”

“Truer words were never spoken.”

“Summer hates coffee. But what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her, right?”

“I continue to apply the same argument to the sudden disappearance of Mr. Pipps the Teddy Bear. Except it’s really more like ‘what she doesn’t now can’t hurt me’. And don’t give me that look. It was entirely unintentional that Frisky the dog should take such a liking to Mr. Pipps as a chewtoy. Incidentally, that case has remained unsolved for twenty-three years, and I expect it to remain that way.” He handed over the coffee.

“My lips are sealed.” Thomas promised. “Is Connor awake yet?”

“I don’t think so. Feel free to check for yourself. I shall make breakfast.”

“You cook now?”

“By breakfast, I of course mean toast. Possibly of the burned variety.”

Thomas reached into the bag he’d slung over one shoulder.

“Alternatively, Summer made Muffins.”

“My baby sister is a gift from the heavens. Almost as brilliant as coffee, and you, my friend, know this to be high praise.”

“I’ll relay the message.” He took a step in the direction the stairs. “By the way, There are enough there for one for each of us. It would be unwise for you to consider consuming more than your fair share.”

“Killjoy.”

 

Connor was feeling completely overwhelmed. He’d already been awake when Thomas had come to his door, cheerfully telling him that they were going shopping. How, exactly, he hadn’t made clear- since slaves weren’t allowed to actually possess money or material items, Connor was a bit confused. Nonetheless, he took the slightly too-long pair of pants and fleece jacket Thomas loaned him and put them on. In the space of half an hour, he had been whisked through the kitchen, handed a muffin to eat, and packed into the car he had arrived in last night, and now he was following Thomas into the door of a massive storefront in one of the most fashionable areas of the city.

 Inside, everything was gleaming tile, polished wood and sparkling glass. And a waterfall cascading from the second floor on either side of the massive room. A dizzying variety of clothing surrounded them on rack and mannequins.

While Connor stood there, trying to keep his mouth from hanging open in awe, Thomas gestured to one of the sales girls, who, Connor realized as she approached, was also a slave. He handed her a card, saying that they were here on business for Mr. Jackson. That made sense then- Josh (He felt so irreverent even thinking of his owner so informally) must need a new suit or some other article of clothing, and had sent him with Thomas to retrieve it so he could learn how things like this were done. That also explained the issue of money- whatever they were picking up would almost certainly have been paid for in advance.

The salesgirl led them toward the back of the store to a glassed-in atrium surrounded by verdant green plants.

“If you’ll tell me what it is you’re looking for, I’ll have someone pull together a selection of merchandise while you wait. Would like the curtains drawn, or left open?”

“Drawn, please.” Thomas specified. The girl nodded and moved to comply. Thomas continued, “This is Mr. Jackson’s new body slave, Connor.”

“Lovely to meet you, Connor. What can we do for you?” He was a flustered to have the attention suddenly directed at him. Thomas cut in smoothly, saving him from having to formulate a response.

“I’m afraid he needs a new wardrobe- clothing for all occasions, from lounging and casual wear to formalwear.” The girl grinned.

“How exciting! I’ll send someone in to take your measurements!” She departed swiftly, leaving Connor feeling vaguely shell-shocked.

“We’re here to buy things for me? I thought we were here to pick up something for…Josh.”

Thomas gave him a look.

“You thought we were here to purchase something for your master, even though you’re the one without clothing to wear.”

“When you put it like that… I just…this place looks so expensive.”

“It is.”

“But I’m just a slave.”

“You’re a body slave. Publicly, you are a reflection of your master. The image you project and the clothing you wear is nearly as indicative of his status and wealth as his own is. And though he doesn’t choose to live like it, Josh is a very, very wealthy man. So wealthy that four years ago, there was talk of him being offered the title of ‘Lord’. He put the murmurings to rest, saying that he couldn’t in good conscience take on a title hat would place him at the same rank as his father.”

“I thought you said he had been disowned?”

“He was. Years before that. It was quietly accepted that he refused so as not to antagonize his Old Man and cause further difficulties. Instead, they conferred some sort of Honorary title on him that has little meaning other than his getting announced at parties as “The Honorable Mr. Joshua Jackson”. Josh generally lives pretty quietly, not attracting much of a fuss despite his peculiarities. But now? Society is going to be on this- on you like bloodhounds on the trail of a scent. So you need to be well dressed, well-presented because once they spot a weakness, they can be vicious. The cost of the clothing is well worth the barrier of the façade it helps to construct. And trust me. Josh can afford it.”

Connor sat hesitantly on the edge of a couch, hands clasped tightly. A moment or two later, the glass door swung open again, this time admitting a different pretty slave girl. Her curly brown hair was wrestled back into a French braid it seemed intent on escaping, and she had a tape measure around her neck and a clipboard clasped in one hand.

“Hello. My name is-”

“Emmy?” Thomas was looking at her incredulously.

“Tom!” How are you?”

“I’m good. Great, actually. How are you? I haven’t seen you in years.”

“I’m fantastic.”

“How did you end up here?”

She shrugged

“About three years ago, Eleanor, who’s one of the executives in charge of design here, was visiting Lord Butler and Lady Headey. Lady Headey’s dress caught on that desk Lord Butler loves, and it tore. She called me over to mend it, and Eleanor became interested in my talent as a seamstress. Within four months, she had convinced them to sell me to the corporation, and now here I am. In and among tailoring suits and fitting dresses, I’ve even managed to design a few garments. It’s not everything I could ever have dreamed of, but it’s close.” She turned to Connor. “Should we get to work then? If you’d just stand up and strip down to your underclothes, I’ll take your measurements, alright?”

“Sure” Connor lied, because being mostly naked with a beautiful girl touching him, regardless of reason, after several weeks without sexual release, was far from what sounded like a good idea. Emmy’s hands were surprisingly deft and entirely professional though. She took his measurements quickly, the grace and speed of her movements making the process much less embarrassing than he had anticipated. Once she was done, she handed him back the pants, which he gratefully put back on. She left then, promising to return soon.

“So, uh… How do you know her?” He asked Thomas, latching onto something to fill the silence.

“We pretty much grew up together, actually. Lord Butler and Lady Headey married when we were just toddlers. I belonged to Lady Lena, Emmy belonged to Lord Gerard. It was strange that they each had a natural-born slave in their households, and around the same age at that. It was nice though, having someone to play with when we were young, and explore with. We did some exploring of an entirely different nature as we got older, but there was nothing much to it. And I was sold when I was fifteen, so there wasn’t too much chance for it anyway. I guess you could say Emmy was my first friend.”

“Wait. You were...born into slavery?”

“Yes. From what Rob’s found out for me, my mother signed me away before my birth to settle her debts, rather than become a slave herself.” He caught Connor’s horrified look. “It’s not so bad as it sounds. If she hadn’t, I’d have been on my own, without a mother anyway. I’d be put in the system, with little hope of being taken in or adopted by a family. My mother was an intermittent drug user for a good portion of the time she was pregnant with me, and the medical bills for my detox alone would have been expensive enough that I would have most likely had no choice but to sell myself into slavery as soon as I reached the age of majority in order to alleviate the financial debt I owed to the state. Growing up with the knowledge that I’m a slave was kinder, and Lady Headey was an uncommonly good owner. I have no idea why she bought me, but she gave me a hint of the innocence of childhood I would have had no hope of getting in a state-run facility.

She always told me that she thought I was something like an adorable puppy that she bought and then got home and sat there wondering what the hell to do with me. In the end, I ended up being fostered by the stable-manager. He’d had a child at the last estate he had worked at, but his master had gone bankrupt and had to liquidate his assets, so the slaves were all sold at auction. His wife and children had been purchased by a Lord from somewhere up in Idaho or Montana, but he was left behind. Charlie took me under his wing, raised me like a son and groomed me o take over his post when He got too old. Emmy was born on Lord Gerard’s estate, the daughter of his Head Groundskeeper and one of the house slaves. It just…worked out conveniently for us to be friends.” Thomas shrugged.

“But… if you were a body slave, why were you being trained as a stable manager?”

“I wasn’t always a body slave. Far from it. It wasn’t until I met Summer that anybody even entertained it as a possibility.”

“I didn’t know it was possible for anyone but Commerce to make that decision.”

“It’s not.” Thomas grinned. “But with the appropriately sized donation from the right checkbook, Commerce has been known to become very agreeable on minor matters like that, and Summer’s father’s checkbook was one of those. Still is, I suppose.”

“How did…”

“Summer came to visit my Master and Mistress the summer she was sixteen. They’re some sort of distant relation to her mother, and highly involved with society events on the west coast, which her parents apparently wanted Summer to experience. She was…stunning. You haven’t met her yet, but when she wants to, she can enter a room and leave everyone speechless. I’d never seen anyone so fascinating in my life. She took an interest to riding while she was there, which she told me later was just an excuse to spend time somewhere where I was likely to be. She even charmed my Master and Mistress into having me give her private riding lessons.”

 He leaned against one of the decorative marble columns, crossing his arms in front of his chest and shaking his head with a bemused grin. “God, I was a wreck. I found myself falling for this girl that I could never have, because she was a free woman, because even if I wasn’t a slave, she was so far above my station it would be impossible. It got to the point where she was just about the only thing I wanted out of the world, and since I couldn’t have her, I didn’t want anything to do with the world. I had basically a shitty attitude to everyone and everything, except around her. Even trying to keep a lid on my temper, it almost got me in a lot of trouble several times. But it was an impossible situation, you know? Even If I thought she had any of the same inclinations toward me, a member of the ownership class doing anything with a slave who’s not a body slave is illegal, and a slave making any presumptions like that with a free woman- a girl, a that, would most likely find themselves taken by Commerce and forced into hard labor camps until they were worked to death. There are legends like that out there at least.”

“But you’re her body slave now. What happened?”

“It was all her. On one of her last riding lessons before she left, she stopped her horse in the middle of the trail, dismounted, and asked me to do the same. It was so rare then for me to be asked to do something, rather than be told. I did it, and tethered the horses. And then she did something so completely extraordinary…

She took my hand- actually took it and said to me very seriously, “Thomas, I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer it honestly. Not the way you think I want you to answer it, or the way you think you should answer it, but the way your heart actually wants to answer it.” And I nodded, and then she told me that she liked me, in a very serious way, that if it weren’t prohibited by law and society, she’d want to be with me, and she wondered did I feel the same way about her. My heart literally stopped for a second or two, and then I told her that yes, I did. I honestly thought that she was going to suggest that we have an illicit tryst right then and there. My heart had started pumping again, and making up for lost time, because I was terrified of the risk that would involve. Instead, she said that if I was serious, she had a plan. She was going to speak to her father and convince him to buy me, then get Commerce to change my status to that of a body slave. Her body slave.”

“So you voluntarily became a body slave?”

“Did they do a number on you at Commerce or what?  I get the impression that you never wanted to be a Body Slave. It makes sense- there are a lot of pitfalls in being a body slave. More so with some masters than others. It’s a more difficult concept for someone who was once free. But there are a lot of perks too. It was a step upward for me. But even if it hadn’t been, It was my only opportunity to be with a girl I cared for so much it had consumed my world. I said yes without hesitation. And then she actually kissed me, just the briefest touch of our lips before we got back up on those horses and rode on.

 It took awhile to iron out with Commerce. She went away, back here to New York, and I started to think it wouldn’t happen that I’d never see her again. I lived on that kiss, those moments, for months. Finally, Lady Headey called me in to her study to tell me I’d been sold. I was in New York the next week. It was wonderful, and hellish at the same time, for both of us. To be falling in love, but in a relationship society would never sanction? I had to watch her go out on dates with other boys, other men. I’ve had to watch someone else escort her to every event we’ve ever attended. Despite all of that, against all odds, nine years later, we’re more in love than ever.” He paused. “I suppose the moral of my story is that…while your life may have taken a different path than you ever envisioned, its not over. It’s hard, and painful, and endlessly frustrating. But you’re alive, and being owned by Josh is far from the worst thing you could experience. Embrace any part of that that you can.”

Connor really had nothing to respond with. He contemplated Thomas’s story for awhile. It was hardly the story he’d expected, of a slave by who had learned to accept his lot in life and had come to not despise his mistress. Connor wished there were something he could do to not see this whole thing as a curse. He couldn’t help noticing one fundamental difference between Thomas’s story and his own though. Thomas had been willing to give his body. Connor hadn’t even had a choice.

Part 6

Comments

[salamandersfire.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I can't tell where you're going from here but I'm definitely along for the ride.
Complicated from both sides, I suspect the private interactions between Josh and Connor are going to be illuminating and probably extremely awkward at first!

[ruefull.livejournal.com]

I am enjoying this very much, each chapter is more intriguing than the last. I love the characters, the way they're written, and can't wait to see where it ends up.

[lunasblues.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're continuing this and looking forward to more.

[angels3.livejournal.com]

So Joshua and by default Connor have a lot riding on their shoulders making this unconventional relationship work.

I really do love this story, and I loved hearing about Thomas and Summer's back story as well.

Can't wait for more.

[daughterofelros.livejournal.com]

Glad you like the backstory-- It kept burning a hole in my brain, demanding that I find time to write it in. :)

I love looking at the different types of relationship between the different sets of Master and Slave even among like-minded individuals- Josh and Connor are obviously awkward at this point, but they'll get a chance to work on it. For Summer and Thomas, It's almost a partnership of equals. For the third couple, it's something much different.

[wickhouse2005.livejournal.com]

I think it would be very hard for Summer and Thomas to have a partnership of equals. When one partner has all the power think sterotype 1950's, it is very easy to view the less powerful partner as less. My opinions have more value, I know best, you don't deal with the real world, type deal.

I find the level of social control to be extremely interesting, even the free people are not actually free, their chains are just less visable.

The Revolution is coming, Power to the People ;)

I'm enjoying this very much.

[daughterofelros.livejournal.com]

Summer and Thomas keep insisting to me that this is what they're like. Although unusual, it makes sense to me for a number of reasons--

First, in a conventional relationship, especially of this class, the man would be more likely to hold a majority of the power. Summer's been raised with that example, so even though she's a strong woman, there are definately areas of her life where it seems natural for the man to have more power. This is tempered by the fact that Thomas is a slave-- so in a way, it's really a situation where both of them have more freedom and power than they would normally have, and I think they both recognize that.

Also, they've been together for a number of years, since they were both fairly young. Also, Thomas is about a year older than Summer in my "Happy Land where I can play with things like that" and hey were brought together at an age where hings like that still matter.

Finally, Thomas is sure enough of himself around her around her family that he can act without fear of reprisal-- Connor even mistakes him for a free person when they first meet.

All told, it's a very difficul thing, but they're managing it-- they still have to play 'normal' for the camera of course, but they also have a fairly healthy life privately.

[wickhouse2005.livejournal.com]

I agree that it is possible for Summer and Thomas to have an equal relationship, I just think it would take alot of work and it would be one of the many pitfalls that they would have faced.

It would be interesting as Connor and Josh's relationship develops, to see the them face the same issues that Summer and Thomas has so sucessfully faced.

Thomas could be an excellent mentor for Connor as Connor struggles with his emotions and trying to be his own person. Often when people are trying to 'save the world' they forget what is occuring in thier own homes.

Look forward to reading more.

[angels3.livejournal.com]

What third couple?

Are you teasing me?

[daughterofelros.livejournal.com]

Not kidding. If you think about it, you probably already know who they are. :)

[angels3.livejournal.com]

Thinking requires a brain and my head hurts damn it!!!

Now I need to go reread.

[daughterofelros.livejournal.com]

Don't drive yourself too crazy-- I'm writing about five chapters ahead of where I''m posting, and I haven't actually had a scene with them yet. :)

[princesslanie.livejournal.com]

hi i have a question i missed chapter 4. i clicked of the link and i get an error message. id there somewhere else i can read it before i read chapter 5?

[daughterofelros.livejournal.com]

Link should be fixed now-- thanks for pointing it out!!

[princesslanie.livejournal.com]

yep it's all set thanks.

[takemychance.livejournal.com]

I absolutely adore this, and getting the backstory was fascinating. I can't wait for more!

[silentflux]

I'm loving this - how you're fleshing out the details of all the characters and how even in telling the backstory of Thomas and Summer you tie it back to Connor's relationship with Josh. I can't wait to see where this is going!